A Tribute to My Late Friend and Co-Warrior, Michael Billings

Ring. Ring. Ring. Click.

"Hello. You've reached the cell phone of Michael"—slight pause—"Billings. Regretfully, I am unable to take your call, but if you'd like to leave your name, number, and a brief message, I would certainly appreciate it. Have a great day.

"Bye-bye."

"Bye-bye, Michael," I muttered, still staring into the dark windshield in front of me.

Beep.

I folded my cell phone closed. As much as I couldn't understand it, as much as I couldn't believe it, Michael Billing was dead. Physically dead.

I was sitting in my car next to Phillip Bradrick, who had just received a phone call conveying the news. Phillip had known Michael Billings since their '05 Vision Forum Internship class. Right now, Phillip was sobbing. According to the caller, Michael had been t-boned by another vehicle going 70 mph at an unusually-constructed intersection between two state highways.

We had just spent the weekend with Michael Billings—who we usually called "Billings" because of all the other Michaels working at Vision Forum. On Friday evening Billings, Phillip and I had driven up to Dallas to attend a Ligonier Ministries Conference with our friends Jordan Muela and Christopher Berkompas. Jordan and Christopher recently began an internship with Wade Myers in Dallas, so they have an apartment there.

The theme of the Conference was "The Cross of Christ" with alternating messages from Dr. R.C. Sproul and Dr. Steve Lawson. During two Q&A sessions, the speakers also responded to miscellaneous questions from the audience. Between sessions, attendees could visit the mammoth bookstore setup in a gymnasium.

Images from the Ligonier Conference this past Saturday.

As we were walking the halls together, Billings took a deep breath of air. "Oh, it's nice to be attending at a conference for a change," he said, carefully enunciating each word as he usually did even during casual conversation.

"Yes, it is," I agreed, thinking of how busy we had been a week earlier at the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival.

The three intern buddies enjoying the conference: (L to R) Phillip Bradrick, Michael Billings, and Jordon Muela

I asked Billings to recommend some books that would be helpful for me to read. Over the last two months as we've shared an apartment together, I had come to realize that he was an expert on all things relating to Dr. Greg Bahnsen, Dr. R.J. Rushdoony, and Dr. R.C. Sproul.

Billings has always been extremely thrifty with his money. He told me recently that he had made it his goal to spend no more than $20 on food per week. But Billings was in hog-heaven standing in the middle of the Ligonier bookstore, marveling at all the resources at his finger-tips. Holding up his bursting plastic bag of purchased books, he said, "Nathaniel, I'm seriously wondering if it would be ethical for me to spend any of my tithe money to buy more books. You know, it is a ministry, but at the same time I'm getting a benefit for it. . . ." That was how much he loved studying the Bible and teachings from the Bible.

Walking with Wise Men

"He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed" Proverbs 13:20.

Once when we were riding together to church, Billings paused a sermon we were listening to by Dr. Sproul. "I've never heard this particular message before," he told me, "but I've heard Sproul answer these kinds of questions often enough that I think I can predict what he's about to say." Billings went on to describe the next part of Dr. Sproul's sermon, and when he pressed the play button again, you would have thought Billings had written a script for Dr. Sproul.

Michael Billings studied Bahnsen, Rushdoony, and Sproul so well that he could recite their teaching at the snap of a finger. He also delighted in reading the works of the old Puritans. While sharing an apartment together during the last two months, he introduced me to resources I never knew existed. He grew passionately excited when talking about the biblical truths written by great men of the faith.

Ever since he was fourteen-years-old, Michael Billings had wanted to work for Doug Phillips at Vision Forum so that he could disciple under him. He once shared with me a list of other men he hoped to disciple under someday. They were each leaders of the faith. Once he became an employee of Vision Forum, he regularly consulted with men he esteemed for their wisdom. Men like Doug Phillips, Geoff Botkin, and Jim Zes.

(L to R): Christopher Berkompas, Phillip Bradrick, Jordon Muela, myself, and Michael Billings with the Myers family after the Ligonier conference (courtesy of Wade Myers).

No Man Despised His Youth

"Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity" I Timothy 4:12.

Since the new Vision Forum Intern class started in early September, Michael Billings has been teaching them in regular classes on the attributes of God, both the communicable and the incommunicable attributes. With great care he articulated (to some men who were even older than he) doctrines of God's nature that have baffled the ages. He and I spent numerous hours together at Barnes & Noble as I was studying law for my final exams and he was studying for his next class. During that time I had frequent conversations with Billings about deep aspects of orthodoxy and orthopraxy. As always, his maturity, scholarship, and knowledge amazed me.

Who wouldn't be amazed since Michael Billings was only nineteen-years-old? (The only other nineteen-year-old I had ever known with similar scholarly knowledge and discipline was C.S. Hayden, but he is no longer nineteen.) Growing up, I often despaired that most of the young people I knew could not carry on a ten-minute discussion about anything more significant than sports. Billings could play, joke, talk deep theology, and switch between the three on the turn of a dime. But his passion was theology.

On the day that I completed my final exams for law school, five men took me out for dinner to celebrate. Tim Horn sat to my right, and Jason Kent sat across from him. Nathan Barnes sat to my left, and Bob Renaud sat across from him. Michael Billings sat across from me. Even during that evening we had a delightful discussion about the First Amendment and James Madison's "Memorial and Remonstrance," and Billings contributed insightfully and graciously to the discussion.

So studious was Billings, that he led one of the Faith & Freedom Tours at the Jamestown Quadricentennial this past summer.

An image taken of Billings speaking at Jamestown (courtesy of Peter Serven).

Ready to Give an Answer

One of the reasons Billings loved to read, hear, and watch the lectures of men like Bahnsen and Sproul was that he was preparing to be a Christian apologist. He took to heart the admonition of Scripture to "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear" I Peter 3:15.

He listened, re-listened, and re-listened to public debates about theology between Christian leaders and men of other worldviews. He evaluated the strong points and the weaknesses. He even acquainted himself with the arguments of the enemy, studying, for example, the debates of out-spoken anti-theist Christopher Hitchens, who Billings believed to be the most self-consciously consistent and articulate opponent to the Gospel alive today.

Billings had a warrior mind-set. He refused to sow his wild oats in his youth. Instead, he was constantly training for future battle to advance God's Kingdom.

This past Saturday, Billings and I hopped into my car in between sessions at the Ligonier Conference and drove off to get coffee. We got lost before we finally found the coffee shop. As I was jumping back into my car with coffee in hand, we laughed at our predicament. "Someday, Michael, when you're a famous apologist like Greg Bahnsen I will remember the day we got lost together at a Sproul conference."

Michael chuckled and gave a modest reply. It was one of the most jovial moments I had shared with my friend Billings.

As a result of Billings' recommendation, I did purchase several books at the conference. They included:

• The Consequences of Ideas by Dr. R.C. Sproul (summarizes and evaluates each of the leading philosophers from ancient Greece to the modern day)
  
• Chosen by God by Dr. R.C. Sproul
• What is Reformed Theology? by Dr. R.C. Sproul
• What is Reformed Theology? (the video version)
  
• The Freedom of the Will by Jonathan Edwards
• Classical Apologetics by Drs. R.C. Sproul, John Gerstner, and Art Lindsey (Don't worry, I haven't changed my views on apologetics; I'm just interested in knowing how the other side describes its position and the positions of others. :-) Michael Billings told me about an excellent short refutation of this book written by Dr. Bahnsen and published by the Covenant Media Foundation.)
  

After the conference, we spent many wonderful hours at the home of Wade Myers and his family, talking about God, discipleship, fruitfulness, and business. Mr. Myers later remarked that Billings was "very gentle and sweet and almost angelic in his demeanor."

The last photo ever taken with Michael Billings (courtesy of Wade Myers).

Before leaving Mr. Myers' home, we each prayed together. Billings prayed, "Lord, let us adore you not merely for what you have done for us but for who you are."

Appointed unto a Man Once to Die

"And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:" Hebrews 9:27.

No one ever had a clearer faith and appreciation for the sovereignty of God than Michael Billings. He believed in the biblical doctrine of Predestination. He knew that God ultimately determines man's temporal death as well as his eternal life. In one of the most fascinating personal discussions I had with Billings, he shared with me how he understood the answer to one of the great theological conundrums. The conundrum was this: How is God completely sovereign over the affairs of history and at the same time not the author of evil?

When I was a boy my pastor used to say that God doesn't kill anyone. That is, God does not steal life from anyone. He simply ceases to give men life. Men have no life apart from God

Michael stated a similar view of God's sovereign grace. Men are evil. God alone is righteous. Men have no goodness apart from God. When men do evil in the course of history, it is not because God forced them to do evil, but because He withheld grace from them to do good.

I recalled that conversation in light of Michael's death. God did not kill Michael Billings or make any of the drivers involved in the automobile accident act negligently. In His supreme wisdom, He withheld the appropriate grace so that this death would occur in His timing. Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things "together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Phillip and I had just seen Billings early that morning at 7:45 a.m. "See you later in San Antonio," Phillip told Billings, "if God wills."

God didn't. By 12:20 p.m. he would be dead. He left Dallas dressed in a white t-shirt and jeens, attire similar to Jim Elliot and Nate Saint. Like these fervent Christian men, from a human point-of-view, it seems Michael Billings was taken away prematurely. He could have grown up to be the next Rushdoony and Bahnsen and surpassed them both in his light and fruit for the Lord. His talent and passion made him the most likely candidate. But God has wisely directed this for His greater glory.

Phillip and I were driving the same route Michael had taken back to San Antonio. We stopped at the location where the accident occurred. By this time it was dark. We saw the marks in the highway where the two cars collided. We saw the shattered curb, the twisted grass in the median, the shards of glass. Cleanup for the accident had occurred hours earlier.

The point of collision on the road.

Based on the nature of the accident, doctors believed Michael died instantly upon impact.

Ours is the lost; his is the gain. Michael would have echoed the words of Philippians 1:21: "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." He had repented of his sins and trusted the Lord Jesus Christ presuppositionally—in particular for his salvation. Michael now rejoices at the feet of Jesus beside his heroes of history. He is missed. He is loved. He is remembered.

May God raise up such men and mightier for the cause of Christ.

Bye-bye, Michael Billings. At God's appointed time, we will meet you again.


For more on the testimony of Michael Billings:

• Michael's sister Jamie Billings wrote a beautiful article "Am I My Brother's Confidant?" released on the Visionary Daughter's web site.

• Doug Phillips wrote a stirring testament of Michael Billings on his blog entitled "Vision Forum Mourns the Loss of Our Most Beloved Brother -- Michael Billings"

• Crystal Paine wrote about her meeting with Michael Billings and shared the sermon he gave at the age of seventeen entitled "Life is a Vapor."

• C.S. Hayden wrote an account of his last meeting with Michael Billings and his assessment of Billings' character on his blog.

• Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis addressed Michael Billing's death on his blog, calling him "a talented young man."